Life is richer when you can pursue the things that matter, such as love, work, feelings of competence, being part of a caring social network of family and friends, growing as a person. Chronic pain makes goal pursuit more difficult. Pain can interfere with effective motivational strategies and can lead to intense frustration. Your roles and your sense of who you are may change. Sometimes pain may make you forget what you used to want – you may find that all you care about is getting rid of the pain.
Life with Chronic Pain Can Still be Full and Rich
One of the most important steps in learning to live with pain is finding ways to pursue goals even though you have pain. If you have given up on anything more than getting through the day, you may find it hard to think about “goal pursuit”. It may sound daunting and unrealistic. But, you still have it in you – the human brain was designed for goal pursuit. Your brain wants to set a goal, find a path, take the steps to achieve something. You may find that what matters may be different now. That's okay. To pursue goals, you may have to think smaller, be flexible, and creative.
Select a Goal
The first step is to select a goal. By “goal”, I mean something you want to do, experience, create, feel, learn, understand, achieve. It should not be big or grand. It should be something with a bit of challenge that is definitely achievable. The point is simply to work toward a goal so you can exert control and feel alive and purposeful. Make sure your goal is something concrete like “prepare a meal” or “start exercising again” – that way, you will easily know whether you have reached your goal. Abstract goals like “get closer to my husband” should be broken down into something specific such as “take a 10 minute walk each evening with my husband”. Spend a day or two and think of a goal that you can get started on.
Create a Plan: Paths and Steps
To reach a goal, you need a specific plan. Once you have identified your goal, brainstorm about different pathsgeneric viagra
Linda,
I have to agree wholeheartedly with the basis of this blog entry. My kids are old enough to be independent (except wanting money, of course!) and fews hours a week I am functional are not conducive for things that require planning ahead or commitments. I never know when I’m going to be able to move around.
I Occupy my brain with planning projects, and I takin care to break down the projects into small enough chunks that I can focus on the series of small victories rather than the overwhelming scope of the entire project.
I have given up taking antidepressents. They help for a very short time, then I am actually worse off than I was before taking them. Istead I spend my idle hours watching movies, and being careful to control my thinking to think more about positives while passing over the negative thoughts. I belive this practice falls under “mindfulness.” It really works, if you let it, and have the self control to pull it off.
One pattern I have noticed among the few other disabled people I know is crushing poverty. It takes several years to actually get SSI disability, by then most people have lost everything. And by the time some people give up and file for SSI, their income has dropped enough that their award amount is very low.
I was lucky, or smart – I broke my neck in 1997. I was able to work full time still, but from then on I maintained disability insurance. I was paying for it full out of pocket, so when I had to admit defeat with working in 2008, my insurance was awarded tax-free. For those who don’t know, that is a funny quirk of disability insurance. If it is paid for with pre-tax dollars or by your employer, the award payments are taxed. If you pay for it with taxed dollars, the award is tax-free.
I was also fortunate that I worked in the computer field writing software. It is about the best type of job for someone who can’t lift much weight, or move their head much.
I honestly wake up every day wondering why I keep going on with life. My projects give me that reason, and the fact that I have some income with which to pay for them makes it all possible.
-Evan
Hi Evan,
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself. I think it can be very helpful to people to read what someone else is doing that is specifically helpful. I especially like how you “break down the projects into small enough chunks that I can focus on the series of small victories rather than the overwhelming scope of the entire project”.
Best wishes,
Linda