emotion-focused support
Effective emotion-focused support should have a positive emotional impact. It might make you feel loved, appreciated, understood, validated, safe, included, or needed. As a result of emotion-focused support, you may feel stronger, more solid, renewed, confident, able to move forward, and ready to take on your life. Examples are listening, showing concern and interest, providing a hug or a kiss, following up on a previous conversation, and showing an understanding of your emotional state or needs.
problem-focused support
Problem-focused support is geared toward helping you solve some problem by providing resources. Examples are doing a household chore, fixing your computer, lending you money, giving you a ride, providing childcare, or taking you to the doctor. Information is another form of problem-focused support. This may include teaching you how to do something, referring you to someone who can help, suggesting a book or website, or brainstorming to generate possible solutions. As a result, you should be closer to managing or solving a problem.
“support” that is not helpful
Despite the best of intentions, friends, family, and co-workers may sometimes do things that are not actually helpful. Sometimes even well-intentioned support can have a negative impact. For example:
- Sympathy may make you feel sorry for yourself
- Pity may make you feel ashamed
- Too much help may make you feel weak and powerless
- Giving in to your demands may make you feel bossy
- Taking over most or all of your responsibilities, even those you can still do, may make you feel irresponsible
To get some practice with understanding social support, review the two case studies below.
Select the ‘Download Activity‘ button below to explore the support provided by Nancy. Save the file as a PDF on your computer or phone. If you have a printer, you may print it. If you are completing the activity on your mobile phone, click here for instructions.
If you are completing the Pain Program with a Goalistics Certified Nurse Practitioner or Psychologist, make sure you submit the PDF using the ‘Upload Activity‘ button below.
Select the ‘Download Activity‘ button below to explore the support provided by Marilyn. Save the file as a PDF on your computer or phone. If you have a printer, you may print it. If you are completing the activity on your mobile phone, click here for instructions.
If you are completing the Pain Program with a Goalistics Certified Nurse Practitioner or Psychologist, make sure you submit the PDF using the ‘Upload Activity‘ button below.
Monitor Your Support Activity
The purpose of this self-monitoring activity is for you to discover the kind of support that is most helpful to you. Monitor the support you receive over two days. Print several copies of this form. Schedule your monitoring on your calendar. Record any type of support from anyone on this Monitoring Form. After two days, review what type of support seems to be actually helpful and what may have a negative effect. This monitoring activity will give you a chance to practice noticing different types of support. You will also be asked to reflect about how helpful each type is for you. This will be useful when you create a plan to ask for support
Keep track on a piece of paper or your phone. Take note of:
- The type of support
- How helpful it was
- Who provided it
After completing your two-day monitoring exercise, return to Relating Better and select “Ask for Support” to continue.
understand, ask for, and increase social support
